There are various styles of Parenting, and there is no way that anyone’s style is wrong or right. Everyone has their style and everyone feels that their style of parenting is the best. But, please keep in mind that the ultimate motive of both the parents is to keep their children safe, happy, and content. Some parents do not want their kids to go through the difficulties that they had gone through, and so they become overprotective. Today we are going to discuss one such parenting style called Helicopter Parenting. But, remember this one point that helicopter parenting may not always be the best way of parenting, and it may backfire at one or the other point.
What is Helicopter Parenting?
All of us parents, want our kids to be happy, satisfied, and successful in their lives, and try to make their lives easy. But, some parents take the sense of their protection towards their kids to the next level and take it upon themselves to remove every difficulty in their lives. This is called Helicopter parenting. The parents are overly focused on their children and take too much responsibility for their success and failures.
During the toddler age, a helicopter parent may keep shadowing the child allowing him to zero alone time and decide on the game the kid should play and what he should, what he should not do, and with whom she should make friends. dictate on what type of coaching the kid should take. They also When the child reaches the high school or college level, the parents help the kids with tasks that they should be doing on their own without their assistance.
The best sentence that describes helicopter parenting is “hyper involvement in a child’s life without any need for doing it.”
Why do Parents do helicopter parenting?
There are many reasons why parents end-up hovering over their kids and doing helicopter parenting. Here are a few reasons that you should take into consideration. Sometimes, it is not the fault of parents but circumstances and the social beliefs also make them do that. Here are the reasons for it.
- Social pressure
- Feeling anxious
Sometimes when the parent notices other parents getting involved in their children’s lives, they start feeling that they also should do the same thing with their own kid. Parents even tend to compare their kids with other kids and take decisions accordingly. They might see that other parents’ kid is good at this, then their kid should also do the same thing. Then starts the entire saga of hovering over the kid and making the kid do the thing that they want him or her to do. But, a parent should understand that one thing that is good for other’s kids may not be good for their kid. They should understand that and stop pushing the kid.
Worrying a lot about the current economy, the job market, about the world outside when the kid grows up, worrying more about the kids future, and how the outside world will treat the kid may be one of the factors why the parents tend to hover over the kids and become helicopter parents. They feel that if they take control of their child’s life, then they will be able to protect the kid from the problems that occur in his or her life. But, parents tend to forget that this will make their kid more dependent on them and he will not have the confidence to face life.
The parents have a fear of their child being unhappy in life. They feel that getting low grades, facing rejection in a job interview, or facing difficulties in playing sports will leave their child in depth of the depression, from which he may not be able to come out. So, instead of teaching their child to be strong, the parents start helicopter parenting and making decisions in their child’s life. They tend to forget that this fear of theirs’ will make their child more fearful and prawn to depression than being strong enough to face it.
Some parents might have felt the lack of love, understanding, and may not have got enough help from their own parents. Hence, they may not want their children to suffer from that. So, they might start getting more and more involved in their children’s life to the point of taking basic decisions that their child should take. The parents may not realize that this may turn out into an unhealthy parenting style.
The effects of helicopter parenting
Any type of parent engagement starts on a good note. The child gets all the attention, and care that he or she needs. But, the parents’ involvement in a child’s life should not be governed by fear, and the decisions should not be taken based on what might happen and what not? Once this starts then everything may start going downhill and will have a negative impact. Here are a few impacts of helicopter parenting that your child can face.
- Undeveloped life skills
- Lower confidence and self esteem
- Increased anxiety and depression
- Lower coping skills
- Sense of entitlement
Undeveloped life skills
Some parents tend to cater to their child’s needs even when they are grown up and are well-capable of doing their own things and taking their own decisions. This thing acts as a hindrance in kids learning basic life skills which is a must in today’s world. This also prevents the kid from becoming Independent and gaining enough maturity to take their own decisions.
Lower confidence and self-esteem
The habit of helicopter parenting, may also backfire in more then one ways. By doing everything for the child and helping them take their decisions, sometimes parents are creating a lower confidence level in the child. The over involvement of the parents may convey a wrong message to the kid that parents do not trust him or her in doing their things on their own. Which, in turn leads to lower confidence and lower self-esteem.
Increased anxiety and depression
Over parenting can also lead to child anxiety and depression. This is because sometimes the child is wishing to do something else, and the parent might be hampering in his life goals with his or her decisions and may not be realising that he or she is making a huge mistake in understanding the child.
Lower coping skills
In helicopter parenting, the parent is always their behind the child to clean-up his mess and be protective towards him. This will not let the child learn the basic skill of facing problems in his or her life. The child will also not learn to cope with loss, disappointment, and failure.
Sense of entitlement
Also when a child sees everything given to him in a ready-made platter. He or she may start thinking that they are entitled to this kind of treatment. Not only from their parents but also, from others, they meet in their lives. They will also get accustomed to having their own way by hook or by crook. This is not in good interest of the child.
How to avoid Helicopter parenting ?
Parenting is like a two-sided sword that we are playing with. We definitely need to keep a watchful eye on what the kid is doing. And stop him from falling into the wrong company and taking bad decisions. At that very same time, we also need to see that we are raising confident independent individuals. These individuals should be happy and contented in their lives and can make good decisions.
This means that we need to let our kids struggle in their life. But, at the very same time lend a helping hand to them when they are disappointed, depressed, or facing failures. We need to take one step back while our kids are facing the problems of their life. Let them have the experience of life, and help them develop into a better individual.
So, this is all I wanted to share with you about Helicopter parenting. If you have something in mind then do let me know in the comments section.